fauxphilnews

Possibly True. Necessarily Entertaining.

Posts Tagged ‘humor

Towards a Theory of Food Categorization

with 3 comments

By Sumil Thakrar

Forthcoming in the Proceedings of the Society of Drinking a lot of Cough Syrup


 

“Everybody knows that something is wrong. But it is uniquely the achievement of contemporary philosophy – indeed, it is uniquely the achievement of contemporary analytical philosophy – to have figured out just what it is. What is wrong is that not enough distinctions are being made.”—Jerry Fodor[1]

There has been a much-needed resurgence in published papers and PhD dissertations on the philosophy of food categorisation. Yet, outside of the philosophy department, we are steadfastly entrenched in a naïve tradition that does little but separate food from drink. The recent attempts at popularizing food categorisation are inadequate at capturing the natural distinctions, and have barely engaged with the emerging philosophical literature. For example, the philosopher Lawson, in her seminal thesis “Nigella Bites”[2], invoked the categories “slow cook weekend”, “comfort food”, and “rainy days”, which critics claim offer an embarrassment of riches that fail to ‘carve nature at its joints’. This paper will clarify the emerging philosophical consensus, and suggest possible avenues for further research.

 

Read the rest of this entry »

Written by fauxphilnews

January 8, 2016 at 7:14 am

Posted in Uncategorized

Tagged with , , , ,

Woman discovers husband is cleverly disguised mule

with 2 comments

Robert Mills in an undated photograph

Robert Mills in an undated photograph

The following is an excerpt from the forthcoming book Till the Skeptical Hypothesis Do Us Part: Philosophical Advice for a Veridical Marriage, by Martha Slattery.

In 2012 Mary Mills learned that Robert, her husband of six years, was a cleverly disguised mule. The surprising discovery was made when Mary and Robert visited a doctor for infertility testing. The doctor checked to see if there was a genetic cause of infertility and sure enough there was. Mary had 46 chromosomes, Robert had 63. They soon divorced.

This tragic outcome could have been prevented. Remember, the key to a successful marriage is being the same natural kind as your partner. Don’t rush things — have that special someone checked out by a good veterinarian before you tie the knot.

Read the rest of this entry »

Written by fauxphilnews

January 10, 2015 at 12:34 pm

Monism special issue

with one comment

MonismSome questions just don’t seem to go away. Why is there something rather than nothing? Do we have free will? How many things are there?  In this issue of the Proceedings of the Society of Drinking a Lot of Cough Syrup, we take up this last question and explore an underdeveloped answer. Monism: because counting is hard.

A Simple Argument for Existence Monism

Cameron Domenico Kirk-Giannini and David Black

Some say that there is more than one object. It might seem, for example, that my table is one and my chair is one, so together they are more than one — they are two ones. But suppose for reductio that there is more than one one. Then the ones are not one. But one cannot be not one. So there is only one one.

Read the rest of this entry »

Written by fauxphilnews

December 26, 2014 at 2:56 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

Tagged with , , , ,

Advice

leave a comment »

Philosophers are badasses. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

It’s grad-application season again, so this seems like an appropriate time to share a few words of advice with the next crop of philosophers. And now that I’m a second-year graduate student myself, I think I’m ready to start making sweeping generalizations about the field.

First, philosophy has a bad rap these days. Some say it’s just intellectual masturbation — that you’ll spend your life engaging in an activity that you find stimulating but that will never produce anything of value.

I don’t think that’s right. Typically masturbation stays between you and the occasional family member who’s unfortunate enough to open the door without knocking. Philosophy, by contrast, is meant to be shared.

Read the rest of this entry »

Written by fauxphilnews

November 2, 2014 at 7:45 am

Show me your papers, eh?

with one comment

The following is an editorial by guest author Gerald Mueller, the Strom Thurmond Chair of Conservative Thought at the University of Cascadia.

Rule breaking!!

Last time I wrote about babies. They’re milking this country for all it’s worth and we all know it. But you probably haven’t heard about the second major threat facing our economy: Immigrants. Yes, immigrants. And I’m not talking about the kind that God sends to subdue a wild and fertile continent — those days are over. I’m talking about the kind of immigrant that sneaks across your border and steals your job without so much as asking.

Pretty much everything I said about babies goes for immigrants as well. They steal our jobs, feed at the public trough, and don’t pay taxes. And the worst of them even come over here and make more babies. So I’ll get right to the nub of the issue: What are we going to do about it?

Read the rest of this entry »

Written by fauxphilnews

October 31, 2014 at 2:46 am

Proceedings, issue 2

with 2 comments

Thanks to a little ingenuity and a lot of plagiarism, the Proceedings of the Society of Drinking a lot of Cough Syrup is back with a second issue. The contents are as follows.

Moving Forward by Reading Backwards and Forwards

Ben Bronner and Simon Goldstein

Wittgenstein said that philosophy is a battle against the bewitchment of our intelligence by means of our language. We argue that perhaps the most bewitching aspect of our language is its left-to-right structure, which subtly insinuates that the world which it pictures also possesses a left-to-right structure, a privileged direction. The solution, of course, is that philosophy should be written solely in palindromes. Some claim this stricture would inhibit genuinely philosophical discussion, to which we respond: Do geese see God?

Read the rest of this entry »

Written by fauxphilnews

October 17, 2014 at 9:13 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

Tagged with , , , ,

A new philosophy journal

with 3 comments

I am pleased to announce the first issue of the Proceedings of the Society of Drinking a Lot of Cough Syrup. Interested readers may find the Proceedings wherever philosophy journals are sold. The contents of the first issue are as follows.

Journey to the Center of the Earth

If ghosts exist, then where is the evidence? I answer this question by arguing as follows. If ghosts exist, they are subject to the force of gravity. Since ghosts can pass through walls, they would likewise (under the force of gravity) pass through floors. Where would the ghosts go? Clearly to the Earth’s center of mass. This argument shows that, in a normal Bayesian model, the fact that we don’t see any ghosts actually makes it more likely that there really are ghosts.

Read the rest of this entry »

Written by fauxphilnews

September 26, 2014 at 3:24 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

Tagged with , , , , ,

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 580 other followers