The Magical Gourmet Report

From the quill of Eli Shupe (Intern at the Ministry of Magic), with assistance from Cameron Domenico Kirk-Giannini and Cherie Braden (House Elves).

If your Philosophy Department were a Hogwarts House, which one would it be? While armchair speculation on this important issue has yielded little real progress, cutting-edge approaches developed by experimental philosophers promise to settle matters once and for all!

Witches and wizards may take the survey here. (Remember, the Houses exemplify different virtues. Slytherin has been unfairly maligned over the years, but there’s nothing intrinsically wrong with cunning and ambition.)

An overall results page that magically updates as opinions trickle in may be found here. Close statistical analysis of the relation between self- versus other-perceived House affiliations to follow. The school most strongly associated with each House at the end of data collection will be officially named the Prefect of that House.

Disclaimer: Apart from your own department, you will only be able to evaluate the top twenty-ish departments of a certain well-known muggle system of rankings. Apologies to those who are left out of the hijinks — you are more than welcome to create and disseminate a more inclusive version (which we will be happy to link to).