fauxphilnews

Possibly True. Necessarily Entertaining.

A new philosophy journal

with 4 comments

I am pleased to announce the first issue of the Proceedings of the Society of Drinking a Lot of Cough Syrup. Interested readers may find the Proceedings wherever philosophy journals are sold. The contents of the first issue are as follows.

Journey to the Center of the Earth

If ghosts exist, then where is the evidence? I answer this question by arguing as follows. If ghosts exist, they are subject to the force of gravity. Since ghosts can pass through walls, they would likewise (under the force of gravity) pass through floors. Where would the ghosts go? Clearly to the Earth’s center of mass. This argument shows that, in a normal Bayesian model, the fact that we don’t see any ghosts actually makes it more likely that there really are ghosts.

Dimensional Pluralism, Part I

The puzzle of material constitution is solved by introducing a new dimension into our metaphysics of location: the constitution dimension. If this view seems implausible, then you are dogmatic. Open your mind. You do not have the intuition that location has four dimensions. The only benefit of a four- rather than five-dimensional theory of location is a slight gain in simplicity. Is the theory unscientific? Not at all. Say that a dimension is physical if it appears in the best laws of physics. Then the constitution dimension is nonphysical. Physics doesn’t care about location in constitution space. Don’t worry about it; physics doesn’t care about you either. This theory explains the puzzle of material constitution while providing a classical logic of time, identity, modality, time, and location.

Dimensional Pluralism, Part II

The framework of dimensional pluralism is used to argue that every object is a surface. For (1) x is a surface iff every point of x is adjacent to a region not occupied by x; and (2) every object is adjacent to a region in constitution space not occupied by that object. The framework is then extended so that constitution space is itself three dimensional, and our constitution shape is a torus filled by God in the center.

The Point of Eden

The Garden of Eden was a single point. In Edenic time, God granted us the right to co-locate. With this ability we could truly love one another. But then God punished us by expelling us from Edenpoint. After that time, it became metaphysically impossible for two things to share the same space. From that time on love became a pale imitation of Edenic co-location. Something about the Tower of Babel…

Thanks to David Black and an anonymous contributor. Authors are invited to submit abstracts to Proceedings.Syrup@gmail.com. Abstracts of the highest quality will be published in future editions of this blog. Submissions may be edited for content, length, or whimsicality.

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Written by fauxphilnews

September 26, 2014 at 3:24 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

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4 Responses

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  1. […] a Lot of Cough Syrup. You can see what kind of stuff their interested in from the abstracts on this page. From one of them: “Physics doesn’t care about location in constitution space. Don’t […]

  2. Thank you for this excellent new journal – which I will file alongside “Motel of the Mysteries”.

    Neil Macgregor MacLeod

    October 4, 2014 at 6:31 pm

  3. […] recent article in this Journal (‘Journey to the Center of the Earth’, issue 1) claims that ”the fact that we don’t see any ghosts actually makes it more likely […]

  4. […] color (from 2). (4) Every object is a surface (see ‘Dimensional Pluralism, Part II’, issue 1). (5) Every object has all the same properties (from 1, 3, 4). (6) Objects with all the same […]


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